The stay-at-home parent decision is often framed as a child care choice. The numbers show it is also a geography problem, a career-risk calculation and a household budget stress test.
How much one parent needs to earn for the other parent to stay home varies sharply by state across the United States. Using SmartAsset’s analysis of MIT Living Wage Calculator data, this article explains the tradeoffs of a stay-at-home parent arrangement: the working parent must cover housing, food, health care and other basics while the nonworking parent may help the family avoid child care costs.
For families with children, the estimate is a reality check, not a verdict. Hawaii tops the list at $102,773 a year for one working parent supporting a nonworking partner and one child, according to SmartAsset’s MIT-based analysis cited by CNBC.
The number is a floor
The state estimates are not a comfort-budget target. They are closer to a minimum annual earnings floor for a three-person household with one adult working, one adult not in the paid labor force and one child.
SmartAsset’s analysis is based on MIT’s Living Wage Calculator, which estimates basic costs such as rent, groceries, health care, transportation, taxes and other necessities. CNBC noted that the calculation includes basic apparel, household supplies and personal care products, but not discretionary spending such as vacations or entertainment.
That matters because many families hear “one parent stays home” and immediately compare one salary against day care tuition. The better comparison is broader: one salary against the full cost of running the household, plus the long-term income the nonworking parent may give up.
State-by-state annual estimates
Below are rounded annual income estimates for what the working parent may need to earn so the nonworking parent can stay home with one child. Hawaii is shown at the specific figure highlighted in the SmartAsset analysis; other states are rounded to the nearest $1,000 for readability.
- Alabama: about $66,000
- Alaska: about $82,000
- Arizona: about $76,000
- Arkansas: about $62,000
- California: about $94,000
- Colorado: about $87,000
- Connecticut: about $84,000
- Delaware: about $75,000
- Florida: about $76,000
- Georgia: about $72,000
- Hawaii: $102,773
- Idaho: about $72,000
- Illinois: about $75,000
- Indiana: about $66,000
- Iowa: about $65,000
- Kansas: about $66,000
- Kentucky: about $65,000
- Louisiana: about $66,000
- Maine: about $75,000
- Maryland: about $86,000
- Massachusetts: about $97,000
- Michigan: about $68,000
- Minnesota: about $75,000
- Mississippi: about $61,000
- Missouri: about $66,000
- Montana: about $73,000
- Nebraska: about $67,000
- Nevada: about $75,000
- New Hampshire: about $85,000
- New Jersey: about $89,000
- New Mexico: about $67,000
- New York: about $88,000
- North Carolina: about $70,000
- North Dakota: about $67,000
- Ohio: about $66,000
- Oklahoma: about $63,000
- Oregon: about $84,000
- Pennsylvania: about $73,000
- Rhode Island: about $82,000
- South Carolina: about $68,000
- South Dakota: about $65,000
- Tennessee: about $67,000
- Texas: about $70,000
- Utah: about $77,000
- Vermont: about $79,000
- Virginia: about $80,000
- Washington: about $92,000
- West Virginia: about $62,000
- Wisconsin: about $69,000
- Wyoming: about $69,000
Hawaii shows the squeeze
Hawaii is the clearest example of why the stay-at-home calculation can feel almost impossible. SmartAsset found that one working parent there needs at least $102,773 to support a three-person household with one child.
CNBC also reported that if both parents work in Hawaii, the household needs at least $115,814 to cover basic living expenses including child care. The median household income in Hawaii is just over $98,000, according to Census Bureau data cited in the report.
That gap helps explain the tension. A second income can lift a household, but child care can absorb a large share of that paycheck. A single income can remove the child care bill, but it also concentrates all financial risk on one job.
Child care changes the math
The Economic Policy Institute has found that child care can cost more than college tuition in more than half of states, CNBC reported. For many parents, that is the starting point for the stay-home discussion.
If one parent earns modest wages and infant care is extremely expensive, the short-term budget may appear to favor leaving the workforce. That is especially true when commuting, work clothes, payroll taxes and unpaid time off are added to the cost of staying employed.
But the opposite can also be true. In higher-paying careers, staying attached to the labor market may preserve raises, retirement contributions, health benefits and future promotions that are not obvious in a one-year child care comparison.
The career cost is hidden
The hardest part to price is the future. A parent who leaves paid work may lose several years of raises, employer retirement matches, professional networks and current skills. Reentering the workforce can also mean explaining a resume gap or accepting a lower role than the one they left.
The issue is not gender-neutral in practice. Pew Research has found that women make up 82% of stay-at-home parents, according to CNBC. That means the long-term earnings hit often falls disproportionately on mothers, even when the household decision is framed as temporary or practical.
Emily Green, head of wealth management for Ellevest, previously told CNBC Make It that some women leave work because their salaries do not cover child care. In some households, she said, the math makes a career break feel unavoidable.
How to use the estimate
The state figure should be treated as a first-pass stress test. If the working parent’s income is below the estimate, the family may need savings, help from relatives, public benefits, a lower-cost housing arrangement or part-time work to make the plan sustainable.
If the income is above the estimate, the decision is still not automatic. Families should look at emergency savings, health insurance, debt payments, retirement contributions and whether the nonworking parent wants a path back into paid work.
A practical approach is to run two budgets side by side: one with both parents working and child care included, and one with a single income and no formal child care bill. The better choice may not be the one with the lowest monthly cost; it may be the one that leaves the family less exposed over several years.
The takeaway is simple: a stay-at-home parent can be a financial relief, a financial strain or both at once. The state-by-state numbers show where the paycheck has to stretch the farthest, but each family’s answer depends on wages, child care access, career goals and how much risk one income can carry.
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